Shattered Mind, Shattered Heart
by Foxlight120
Summary: Just a different take to what could have happened under the shattered curse. Regina's worst self. Error Fixed
1. Chapter 1

Canon Divergence- Shattered Curse

I had this idea that what if when the curse hit Regina didn't go all evil queen. Instead she went into a crazed, far off panic. Her emotions at the surface and her magic being dangerous to everyone, including herself.

 **At Rumples Shop**

Emma stared at the ribbon on her wrist. _Argh! i need to get rid of it._ She and Elsa had tried nearly everything in this godforsaken shop to remove it. _I need to do something. Stop being so worthless. You're the savior now._

Elsa grabbed her arm and spoke, bringing her back from her thoughts, "She said the love within our ribbons was without equal."

Emma looked back at the ribbon, _love that has no equal. Wait! Love has an opposite that's equal but in other ways. Self five._

She did not look up from her arm or the ribbon as she began to slowly speak, "Maybe without equal," Elsa looked as though she would object though Emma carried on "but not without an opposite that's equally strong."

Emma could see the confusion etch across Elsa's face, "What?"

"If her amplified love put these ribbons on our wrists, then maybe what we need is someone's equally amplified hatred to get them off" She was willing Elsa to understand and agree with her theory, _this has to be right, the people i love can't hate me, Henry, Snow, David, Reg- wait I don't love Regina. Care about sure, yes that's what I meant._

"Emma your a bit prickly but certainly not hateable"

 _Well, my dislike for apples since moving to this town certainly contradicts that._

"Tell that to Regina." Elsa finally caught on and knew straight away that going to Regina would be bad.

 _Wait she said prickly, the only person who likes me right now finds be irritating. Great!_ "I'm Prickly," she said, slightly hurt.

Elsa was now imploring Emma to listen to her, "If you let Regina out while she is under the influence of the curse she'll kill you."

"She'll try, But right now its-" "A theory" "the best chance we have." she finished harshly with a firm tone. _It looks, like everything I've done to win over Regina is about to be undone, because I'm the goddamn savior._

"If Storybrooke is to survive, Regina needs to hate me like she's never hated me before"

 **In the Vault, As the Curse Set**

The glass was starting to fall around, _Why? I don't want to be her. I can't be her. So why do I always become her._ Regina was close to tears, the inevitable was happening and she hoped that the protection held up.

Everything shattered.

It was fitting that for everyone else the Shattered Curse made them give into their dark side, the one who has been darker than many before her. Goes back to pure shattered innocence. Regina looked around in dazed confusion, _where am I?_ She then heard them, the steady drumming of hearts. _No not here, No mama I'll be good. But she's dead, who wants to punish me. The King. Rumple. Where are they? Are they coming? I can't go through that again. Ahh! Just make them stop._ She pressed her hand to her ears scratching at her scalp, the pain she feels soothing. Her head was vein plagued by unwanted images, she felt as though they where all waiting in the shadows. A sob broke free. That's when it became uncontainable. She was awaiting her punishment. A pulse of magic then hit her in her head. _Is she here? No. I did this. Pathetic just like they always said._

That's when she heard the voices.

' _Your as rotten as they come, so selfish to all that I do for you. Though don't worry Mother will fix you.' The belt, whip, knife, magic whatever her Mother used would follow._

 _'Such a disappointment, you don't have any life. Snow deserves a better mother than you. Though I admit to find you pleasurable, you should be grateful I allow you to stay.' Words whispered before her marital duty was performed._

 _'Why would i want an offspring from a lifeless doll.' as the child was beaten out of her._

 _'I own you, you are mine to control. Try as you might i have power." Rumple's words as he tormented and forced her to serve._

 _'Worthless''Pathetic''Useless''Barley Fuckable''Rotton''Vile''Dead'_

They were right, she grabbed one of the shattered shards and imbedded it into herself. _I should be punished, it is fair. I killed them. Dirty. Dirty. Dirty._

The blood falling from her various wounds was making her light headed, that's when she heard it. That's when she was pushed over the edge. That's when even her shattered pieces broke and went away.

 _'You really are the Evil Queen, I don't want to see you again.'_

All it took was Henry for her to finally go away.

 **Emma and Elsa Walking through the Vault**

"Is it slightly pysco of me, to kinda be a little excited to see the Evil Queen." Emma said, thoughtfully, "I mean is she really as bad as everyone says'

"Yes, Emma it is pysco of you," Elsa chuckled "you strange child. Though I may kinda feel the same." She gave Emma a knowing smirk. "I never met her back in the old world, so this will be interesting for all. Though I heard that her outfits left even the straightest women wanting. So you might want to talk to her with your eyes closed."

Emma started to splutter, _wait what! How does she know I check Regina out? Dammit I thought I was being subtle_. After quickly sobering, "Haha very funny Elsa."

Elsa suddenly stopped dead, causing Emma to walk straight into her, "ouch why'd you stop?"

"Emma look we're at the end of the vault." They both held their berths in silence. It was daunting to think if they weren't carful they may not make it back from this trip.

"Its now of never, I guess." Emma tied to joke.

They both walked down the stairs slowly. When they reached the bottom Emma heard something crunch under her foot. She looked down and saw that everything was smashed and the floor was covered in wreckage. _That's odd, I suppose the Evil Queen couldn't keep her temper._

"Regina!" She shouted. No reply. "That's odd. From the stories, I never got the shy vibe off the Evil Queen."

"Emma something's wrong I can feel it." With out warning, a bolt of magic came straight towards them. Elsa ducked and Emma dived scratching her self on the glass on the floor.

"Well I guess we know where Regina is." Emma hissed assessing her injures. They both apprehensively stalked in the direction the bolt has come from. Elsa turned the corner first and gasped, stopping dead, "I don't think Regina's going to be able to help."

"Why, what's happened?" Emma said panicallly, as she turned the corner. There she saw her. Regina was in the middle of the wreckage in a pool of blood, her knees, tight to her chest and magic swirled around her. She was obviously badly injured and in need of medical attention. Though the thing that scared Emma the most were her eyes. The normally expressive eyes were unfocused, lifeless and dead. Regina's body was ridged but her eyes were so relaxed. It was evident she was gone. _Regina no!_ Tears were beginning to surface on Emma and Elsa's faces.

Emma began to stalk closer "Regina" she said hesitantly. "Can you talk to us?" Still no reply. Emma crouched down next to her; it was then that she noticed the faint shake through out Regina's body. It was then that she heard the whispers in the magic, _'Pathetic''Weak''Disgusting''Unlovable'_ swirling around Regina.

"Regina can you look at me," she gently reached a hand up to trace the tear tracks on her face. Still no response. "Come on Regina get up!" She almost screamed as she felt her own sadness. Regina the quickly responded, standing though she still seemed lost in her own mind. _What happened to make her retreat into her mind? Why does she just follow instructions blindly?_

A stray tear left the now standing Regina's eye and fell down, merging with Emma's own tear. These tears fell onto the crouching Emma's Bracelet.

There was a burst of white light.

Continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**In Emma's Room**

"Oh thank goodness Emma, you're awake,"

Emma's already blurry vision was now shrouded by the body that had dove on top of her. _What? Where am I? Oh God my head is splitting._ "Owe. What happened?' Emma's says in her confusion, looking around she now saw that it was Snow who had hugged (squeezed) her.

"Emma, you did you broke the Curse!" Snow said with a smile. "You saved us again."

 _Wait! How? Last I remember I was going with Elsa to see Regina. REGINA!_ Emma stopped still, as the memories of what happened came back; Snow was going on about how she knew Emma would do it.

"Mum just stop," Emma said with a slight frustration, while Snow looked offended, "Where's Regina?" she said slowly.

At this Snow just looked at Emma confused, "Well, when you figured out the Evil Queens hate could break the curse. Well done, again. The actual curse breaking seemed to knock you and Regina out, so Elsa put you both in the car and brought you back to us. I assume that she brought Regina back to the mansion. Why? Did she do something to you as the Evil Queen? Because I'm sure she didn't mean it'

Emma just looked ay her in horror; "No she didn't do something to me. How could you even suggest that? Just no. God no. No Mum" Emma was now shaking her head to herself, leaving Snow shocked at her violent reaction.

"Emma, honey, are you okay?" Snow went to grasp Emma's hand.

With this Emma was shaken out of her thoughts, "yeah, I'm fine. I just really need to get to Regina." She started to climb out of the bed, and quickly grabbed her boots, jumping to put them on. _I need to know if she's okay._ In her hurry to put on her boot she managed to loose balancing. Leading to swift meeting with the floor. Snow rushed to her side helping her up.

"Owe! Fuck! That hurt" Emma said rubbing her nose.

"Emma what on earth is your massive rush if didn't do anything. At this rate you are going to injure yourself. Just sit down for second and we'll talk about this, and decide what to do as a _family_. Please."

Emma was too busy rushing around the apartment to take note, grabbing the first jacket she could find.

"Emma, Please are you listening?"

"Sorry Mum, I am I just really need to go. You don't get it , she was gone, just so gone." With that she shook her head and grabbed Snow's car keys, Elsa had hers. "I'm gonna take you're car" Was the last thing she shouted before the door slammed. On the other side a completely bewildered Snow was left.

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When Emma had left the apartment she had been surprised by the bright sunlight that she had walked into. _How long had she been out?_ She quickly go into Snow's car, and sped off towards the mansion.

As she arrived at the mansion, again she felt a feeling of dread building inside of her. Though this was probably due to her own paranoia about what was awaiting her behind that pristine white door. To contrast the way she had sped here, she started to slowly move towards the house, as if by moving slower she could stop herself from seeing the devastating results. When she finally reached the door, it swung open quickly before she could even knock.

There in front of her stood a slightly flustered Elsa, "Emma, What a wonderful surprise? I was just thinking about you." She said a little too loudly, and a lot too cheery. Though her wide eyes conveyed the an even louder message to Emma. Something was wrong and it obviously involved a delicate hand.

Emma cleared her throat, "Yeah, just felt like popping round. Check if everything was alright," she said as she started to walk through the house.

"Yes everything is fine, Regina is in the garden, the back doors open." _Okay, I take it Elsa wants to tell me something without Regina hearing._

 _"_ Um…. Well…." _Henry_ "Henry! Yes, Henry also wanted me to get something out of his room while I was here." Emma exclaimed, trying to think of an excuse to get out of earshot. "Do you mind helping me out?"

Relief washed over Elsa's face at this suggestion, "Yes that sounds great, come on quick."

Both of the blondes bounded up the stairs, in a rush, both slightly out of breath when they reached Henrys room.

"What? What happened Elsa? What's with her?" Emma said in a rush.

"I don't know, she woke up about an hour ago, with this distance to her. She just sat up, suddenly awake. It was quite terrifying really. I went to her and she looked straight at me yet at the same time it seemed as though she was looking straight through me. She just smiled and asked me what I was doing here. Immediately she got out of bed, as if all her cut wouldn't have been hurting and she hadn't just been unconscious for 5 hours. I started to ask her if she was okay, to which she stated that she perfectly fine. I went out to reach for her and she quickly withdrew. Emma every time I started to show worry she started to go back into herself. I mean she's better than she was in the vault, probably due to the curse breaking, but oh my, it left its clutches in her. She's been almost robotic with a hint of smile on her face. Emma I don't know where she is. I even deliberately," her voice lowered, "said fuck, and she didn't even blink, let alone reprimand me.

Emma took in a deep breath, and started to collect the facts, _ive been unconscious for 5 hours, mine and Reginas tears broke the curse, Regina is having some sort of mental crisis that has Elsa worried. God what are they going to do with Hen…!_

"Shit! Henry! Els where's Henry." She said clasping at Elsa's elbows.

"Don't worry, he hasn't seen his mother like this. He popped round while she was unconscious, of course I hid the cuts, and now he's still at school."

I let out a breath that I did not realize I had held. "Ok good. Now we just have to… figure out Regina"

"Why is that?" Suddenly came that soft, husky voice that she knew so well. Both blondes turned slowly to see the immaculate Brunette standing there, with an almost emotionless mask looking straight at them.

 **I'm glad people liked this, as its my first proper fic. Updates are going to be irregular though I should post at least once a week if not more, depending on my schedule.**

 **Leave a review; tell me what you think and what you want to see.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Shit!_

Regina was standing there totally impassive, quiet, waiting for a response. She looked completely immaculate, with only the slightest amount of dirt on her knees as evidence of her gardening. Emma and Elsa both had frozen in panic, both wondering what to do.

 _Quick Emma, think!_

"I wanted to ask you out!" Emma blurted out in a hurry. _What why did I say that. God I need to think before I open my mouth._

If Regina was feeling any shock, it was not showing. Other then I blink of distant eyes she seemed just as before. Nothing different nothing escaping her mind. No insight into her thoughts. Meanwhile Elsa jaw looked like it was about to drop off.

'I mean with Henry. Me, you and Henry should have a proper catch up." _Phew! Quick save._

"I don't think that will be appropriate, I must return to my dut-chores. Have you retrieved the item that Henry wanted?" Regina replied after a beat, methodically and slowly as if she was worried to arise anger.

"What?" Emma asked before she could stop her self.

"Is that not the reason you came round? I must have been mistaken. I'm always getting things wrong."

Shocked by the self-depreciation that she had never witnessed before in Regina, all Emma could do was flounder.

Elsa, politely, jumped in quickly, "I believe that Emma meant to say 'pardon', as I think she simply did not hear what you asked?" She elbowed Emma subtly as to reprimand her for her foolishness. Emma was quicker to take on, _Me and my stupid mouth. Remember to think before you speak._

"Emma, Regina asked if you had retrieved the item, Henry asked for."

"Oh yeah,,, um..got it." Emma said sheepishly.

"Well since you have got what you came for," _If only "_ you will want to be leaving. Yes?" Careful with her wording as no to be dismissive or rude.

Emma couldn't think of a reason to stay and not wanting to push Regina and cause her to retreat further. "I guess, I should yeah." She looked at Elsa pleading her to think of a reason to stay. _Come on Els. I don't want to leave her. Who know what could happen._

Elsa thinking along the same lines asked Regina, "Would it be acceptable to perhaps stay wit you for a while? I don't really have anywhere to go and its is ever so cramped back at back at Emma's and I know no one else."

"If you truly wish it. I will house you, though I doubt it would be as nice as anywhere else." Regina said with finality.

"No you have a lovely home, almost as good as my own."

"Yes… second" she said as almost a whisper, slightly louder "Just choose any spare bedroom you wish.' She said before spinning her heels and silently leaving the two blondes worried and questioning.

What had happened? Since when had Regina had this much self-hate within her? She also was so confident in herself, making a room aware of how great she was. Always so composed and well… regal. Know she still seemed composed but she lacked her fire, their was no passion in what she was saying. All her fight was gone. She may have been conscious and now responding but she didn't seem alive or even really there. It was like her essence had died and all that was left was her mere chemical being. The flame has turned to embers barely burning and the slightest blow could either bring back the fire or destroy it completely forever.

Emma turned to Elsa, " I best be going for the night," She sighed before clutching Elsa's hands, "Look after her, watch her, make sure she's alright. I gonna come back tomorrow. I will fix this."

"Don't worry Emma I 'm going to. I may not know Regina but I saw her in the vault to and trust me I want to make what ever that was better. I think you might ant to inform your family."

"Yes, I will see you tomorrow."

With that Emma quickly left the mansion, not sparing a look behind her for fright of what she might see. She quickly got into her car and just rested her head on the steering wheel. Thinking about the day that just passed. Something was deeply wrong and for the first time in what seemed like forever it wasn't something magical or fairytale. It was real. It was deep and it was emotional, it was life and it was scaring Emma more then anything had in the past 4 years. She just hoped she could still deal with this.

AS she drove back to the apartment she started to think. Look wise Regina seemed fine, apart from one thing, the thing that always gave her away, the thing Emma learned to love first. Oh how Emma loved her eyes. Those rich swirls of Chocolate, they brown seemed to swirl in around her eyes before eventually meeting the black core. Even when they where at each others throats she would look into those eyes and she felt as though she had found a home, they always held this glow in them. Emotion shown through the brink in her eyes, fear, sadness, anxiety, Emma found sign's of these in her eyes. Though better was the joy, kindness and undying love that graced them when Emma was lucky enough to witness and a hint of a laugh or smile that had yet to become and often never actually was allowed to be born, as Regina kept it hidden. But Emma knew, she saw it there with those glorious eyes. Now those eyes held no emotion, they seemed to have stilled, they seemed not to focus, there where no swirls, there was noting. Regina's eyes where the most human thing about her they where poetry in themselves and now those sweet lines seemed to have been erased.

"Still your eyes giving you away Regina,"

 **Finally another chapter up, tell me what you think, also if Elsa seems off. I wanted to make her seem very regal.**

 **As well, Is anyone reading this a big fan of Robin or Hook? Because if so Robin may not been shown favorably. Though I won't bash, just depict his character how I think he has behaved so far in canon. Hook also wont be bashed but I want to put a spin on his character. Neither will play that much of a key role most likely, I just wanted to warn you, if you like them, though as this is a SQ story I think most would be indifferent.**


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